Goodbyes
by bk-1205
Summary: The missing scene after John comforts Layla outside Evangeline's hospital room. Author Note: No Infringement intended. Characters belong to OLTLABC Daytime. Borrowed for this story.


**Goodbyes**

John paced outside of Evangeline's room as he watched Michael check her vitals. His chest tightened as Evangeline just lay in the hospital bed. The smell of disinfectant flooded his nostrils as memories of being in the hospital flooded his mind. John pushed the thoughts away, he'd had more than enough of hospitals, but at this moment, he wouldn't be anywhere else. He glanced over his shoulder at Cristian and Layla where she sat talking on her cell phone, probably telling her mother about Evangeline. John could only imagine how Lisa was taking the news or what she'd think if she saw him roaming the halls of the hospital waiting on any word of her daughter.

"John, how long have you been here?" Michael asked from behind John. John spun at his brother's question and saw the slump of Michael's shoulders. That couldn't be good.

"A while. How's Evangeline?" Worry filled John. Evangeline had to pull through.

"She's breathing on her own and her vitals are holding. Other than that, we just don't know. We won't know whether there's any brain damage until she wakes up."

John pressed his eyes shut at Michael's words, holding on the rigid control he was so well-known for. He felt Michael's hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes meeting Michael's concerned ones.

"I want to see her. I know it's only supposed to be family, but I want to see her."

"I know. I know you still care about her. I saw you two together, remember? You can't just forget that. Go ahead. The nurse won't be in to check on her for about 15 minutes."

John started toward the door and stopped short. He turned to Michael and said, "You know, I never told her how I really felt about her. Before we broke up, I couldn't get the words out. Then later, I guess I thought it didn't matter anymore or maybe it was just that I always knew she'd be around, so I'd have time. Now . . . I just wish I'd told her."

"Tell her now. We're not sure if people in a coma can hear us talking to them, but it can't hurt." The reassurance Michael gave John was just the push he needed. He finally felt ready to do what he should have done years ago.

John pushed into Evangeline's room and stood just inside the door for long moments. She was so still. Someone who didn't know her might think she was sleeping peacefully, but John had slept with her. She never slept on her back; at least she never had with him. Evangeline always curled into his body when they slept together or she slept on her stomach. John caught himself smiling at the memory. Then he sobered and moved closer to the bed. He spotted a stool and pulled it to her bedside.

He lifted her hand and held it before pressing a kiss to her palm. John slid his fingers through the ebony tendrils of hair on her pillow. _Soft as ever_.

"You know, you've started a lot of chaos around here. Everyone is upset and worried and here you are sleeping the day away. Evangeline, you need to wake up."

John willed her to move; to give him any indication that she might wake up soon. He held back the tears that had been threatening since he heard the news earlier in the day.

"You can't do this to me. You're the strong one. You're supposed to be here to listen when I decide I'm ready to talk. Who am I going to go over cases with? You always give me a new perspective and open up new avenues to investigate. What am I supposed to do without you?"

He rested his cheek against their entwined hands and stared at her. Everything he'd kept from her rushed to the surface and tears fell before he could stop them.

"I'm sor. . ." His voice broke. A moment later, he tried again. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't give you what you needed and keep you safe. I broke my promise. I told you I'd never let anyone hurt you again. I'm sorry I wasn't there. You've got to wake up so I can make it up to you. Maybe we can go to one of those contemporary dance troupes that you love so much. Come on, you know you want to torture me with that."

"Come on Evangeline just squeeze my hand . . . Anything . . . You told me you'd listen to me anytime . . . Well, now I'm ready to talk . . . Okay, if this is how we have to do this . . . Before I found dad's killer, it was really hard for me to talk about my feelings. Okay, I know what you're thinking. It's still hard for me, but not as hard as it used to be. When you came to me and told me you were falling in love with Cris, I finally knew what it felt like to have my heart ripped out. I mean, I'm glad you were the one to tell me, but it still hurt. I guess somewhere inside, I just never thought of you with anyone else. I wanted you happy, but I never thought that would be without me. Arrogant, huh?" John chuckled humorlessly. "I know. I always thought that someday we'd have time and I'd finally be able to tell you that I loved you. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you that when you needed to hear it most."

Before John could say anything more, a nurse came into the room carrying a chart.

"Sir, I need to check her vitals and get her ready to leave," the nurse said as she began checking the equipment and jotting notes on the chart.

"I'll get out of your way," John answered and stood, never taking his eyes off Evangeline. He leaned over to place a kiss on Evangeline's cheek and at that last moment changed his mind. Pressing his lips to hers, he felt the spark that was always there. Her lips were as soft as ever and she tasted the same. Evangeline had been one of the best friends he'd ever had. Always wanting him to be better; not for her, but for himself. She'd always listened to him. She might not agree, but she'd respected his decisions. He'd missed that. He'd missed the way it used to be. He couldn't think about that now. Now, he had to think about getting the bastards that had done this to her. They would pay. He'd make sure of it.

"Sir?" the nurse called, standing next to him. She was trying to get to the equipment behind him. John pulled himself out of his stupor and moved toward the door. He looked back at Evangeline.

"I'm not saying goodbye, because I'll see you again . . . soon." He glanced at the nurse, then back to Evangeline. "Remember, I love you."

John walked out of the room. At seeing Layla and Cris talking in the waiting room, he turned the corner leaning against the wall. He knew the moment his brother moved into his personal space.

"Are you okay?"

"No. Evangeline is in a coma. Three others were gassed. Lindsey was knocked out and the bastards are still out there. Not to mention, we have very little to go on."

"You'll get them."

"I have to. I owe her. Mike, if she doesn't make it . . ." John couldn't finish the thought. He couldn't fathom a world without Evangeline Williamson in it.

"There are a lot of questions about comas. Evangeline could wake up tomorrow."

"Or not. I need her to wake up, Mike."

"I know. We all do."

"You don't understand."

"I do. I know you loved her." The know-it-all look that Michael gave John was irritating to say the least.

"What do you mean you know?"

"John, you and Evangeline were the only ones who didn't know how _you_ felt. Anyone who saw the two of you in public knew there was something more than just friendship there. You complemented each other. Granted, you were never the center of her world and you have this gigantic hero complex, but you were loving and thoughtful and you respected each other. All the signs were there and given different circumstances, I think you two would have made it."

"I wanted us to. But we can't have everything. I'll settle for her waking up and living a full life."

"We'll do everything we can to make that happen."

John knew the doctors would work to bring Evangeline back to him. But, they could only do so much. It was up to Evangeline to fight her way back. She was a fighter. She had to pull through. He didn't have it in him to say anymore goodbyes.


End file.
